Thursday, April 23, 2015

Awakening

We live in a world of bustle and clutter and chaos and we don't even know why we are here sometimes.

Why are we here?

I look around at work sometimes and wonder what we are all doing - not just in my job, in any job.

Why are we here?

We create systems and businesses to generate money and support others. In return we get money, structure, and (hopefully) satisfaction, and (possibly) make the world a better place.

This last one is debatable. Depending on the company we work for or the job we have, we might be making the world a worse place, or leaving it indifferent.

Too often it can feel like we leave the world indifferent, though on a micro-level this cannot be the case.

It just feels like such a big cycle. We go to our jobs every day, generating money and helping people (hopefully) by doing our job. With the money we make, we pay off any debt we have accumulated, most likely due to having a car, home, and college education - except if we are typical, we don't really pay it off, we just make tiny payments that stretch out over decades, or even our lifetime.

We take on these debts because society tells us it is normal and even necessary if we are to enjoy the things that most others enjoy - a car, a home, education, and some extra fun on the side, perhaps nice clothes and spending money. What can happen as a result is that we get locked into our jobs or having to generate a certain amount of money so we can pay off the debts, and maintain a lifestyle we aren't even sure we want.

We make money every day to pay off debts we have accumulated and keep buying shit we don't need. In that mix we are hopefully helping people as well, but too often this can feel lost.

This is what I come to sometimes. It may not be your experience, but it is mine. There has got to be more to life than this - there is. I see evidence of it. I refuse to let this be my experience. I am tired of wondering what the hell I am doing.

What the hell are we doing?

There were things I wanted to do, still need to. there were things I wanted to do with my life, to demonstrate to my kids.

Why am I not doing them?

This needs to end. And it can - (1) by taking control of my debt, and (2) by starting to do some of the things I have always wanted. And it can begin today, in small ways, by starting to live the way I have imagined - purposefully, happily, no longer mindlessly.

The trick, of course, is not not become overwhelmed by the daily bustle to the point where it gets me down and makes me lose my focus.

How can I maintain this focus, how can I succeed? How can I not?

What the hell have I been waiting for?

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