Thursday, March 26, 2015

More days like Thursday

It was a Wednesday, so it was like any other day
And I worried what people thought.

When I saw my neighbors in the morning as we left the apartment
I worried that they thought we were annoying and too noisy.

When I rushed to drop the kids off in front of the school
I worried that the other parents would think I was disorganized and always late.

When I saw my supervisor at work and she didn't meet my eyes
I worried that she must have heard a negative report.

When I didn't hear back from a friend I had emailed
I worried that my last note had been too long and self-involved.

When I met the babysitter after school and she was calm and quiet
I worried that she was exhausted because the kids had been too demanding.

When I had to email the kids' dad about reserving a date
I worried that he would reject it or need a long and involved explanation.

I worried
I worried
and I worried.

But then the next day was Thursday
And on Thursday
I decided not to worry about what other people thought.

When I saw the neighbors in the morning as we left the apartment
I said "Good morning!" and gave them a bright smile.

When I rushed to drop the kids off in front of the school
I kissed them tenderly and told them to have a great day.

When I saw my supervisor at work and she didn't meet my eyes
I assumed she was preoccupied, and got to work.

When I didn't hear back from a friend I had emailed
I knew she was busy, and would get back to me when able.

When I met the babysitter after school and she was calm and quiet,
I asked how she was, and felt relieved the apartment was peaceful.

When I had to email the kids' dad about reserving a date
I sent him the update, then moved on.

And what I found, to my surprise
Was that when I took the time off worrying
It was much nicer

And there was more time
For much happier things
That I could have been doing all along.

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